Customer: How you doin'?
Postal worker: I'm working harder than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.
Customer: Sounds pretty bad.
Postal worker: Well, it's better than my mother. She used to say she was working harder than a one-legged whore working both sides of the street.
--Grand Central Post Office, 45th & Lex
via Overheard in New York, Nov 30, 2007
Friday, November 30, 2007
Just to mess with your head...
Astronomers used five years of Chandra observations to show that the rogue star is careening away from the Puppis A supernova remnant, leftovers of a star that exploded about 3,700 years ago. The neutron star is racing out of our Milky Way Galaxy at about 3 million mph (4.8 million kph).
From Space.com
You got money for fake moustaches, huh?
Woman in fake moustache holds up N. Portland Denny's
Portland Police were looking for a woman in disguise who held up a local Denny's last week.
Detectives said on Tuesday, the woman, dressed as a man and sporting a fake moustache, sat down at the restaurant on North Center Avenue around 1:30 a.m. and drank coffee for nearly three hours.
From kgw.com
Portland Police were looking for a woman in disguise who held up a local Denny's last week.
Detectives said on Tuesday, the woman, dressed as a man and sporting a fake moustache, sat down at the restaurant on North Center Avenue around 1:30 a.m. and drank coffee for nearly three hours.
From kgw.com
Thursday, November 29, 2007
How Could You Not Love This Town?
Cashier: How are you?
Customer: Do you want the honest answer?
Cashier: Yes.
Customer: I feel like the business end of a donkey. I am extremely hungover and did a mountain of cocaine last night. Now I have to make dinner for a 68-year-old gay artist who is trying to fuck me.
Cashier: I'm... sorry.
Customer: And the woman I love is in another state pregnant with her ex-boyfriend's baby, and I wish the baby was mine. And I'm sleeping with a dominatrix. And it's all true.
--Whole Foods
via Overheard in New York, Nov 29, 2007
Customer: Do you want the honest answer?
Cashier: Yes.
Customer: I feel like the business end of a donkey. I am extremely hungover and did a mountain of cocaine last night. Now I have to make dinner for a 68-year-old gay artist who is trying to fuck me.
Cashier: I'm... sorry.
Customer: And the woman I love is in another state pregnant with her ex-boyfriend's baby, and I wish the baby was mine. And I'm sleeping with a dominatrix. And it's all true.
--Whole Foods
via Overheard in New York, Nov 29, 2007
Missing baroque masterpiece is discovered in pizza restaurant
It was the missing section of a 17th-century masterpiece, worth £1 million, presumed lost for ever. But the table that forms part of one of the most important pieces of Roman baroque furniture to appear at auction had in fact been standing outside the lavatory of a pizza restaurant.
From Times Online
From Times Online
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Secret Brain Lab
"These guys penetrated the abandoned and sealed science lab of Russian Army which conducted sophisticated experiments studying human and animal brains."
Kinda creepy medical stuff...
From English Russia
Friday, November 23, 2007
It's probably not your Spidey Sense
Blonde: You're seeing your astrologist tomorrow?
Tattooed girl: Yeah, my pussy's been tingling lately, and I need to find out why.
--Washington Square
via Overheard in New York
Tattooed girl: Yeah, my pussy's been tingling lately, and I need to find out why.
--Washington Square
via Overheard in New York
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
Only for Catholics
Teen: That guy is jerkin' it right there in public!
Mother: Look away. He just has a disease.
Teen: What? So chronic masturbation is a disease now?
--42nd St subway
Overheard by: come again?
Headline by: gerard
Runners-Up:
· "Cause Dad Said Its a Cure for Fat Wife Syndrome" - angelica cayne
· "Come Again?" - Mary Beth
· "Ironically, NOT Healed by Laying on Of Hands" - JohnnyB
· "Momma Don't Know Jack." - jason daniel
· "No. I Was Referring To The Pus Pockets On The Head Of His Penis." - Redneck Jedi
· "There's Even a 12 Stroke Program" - Grantakerous
· "We're Tivoing _That_ Telethon!" - Vera Vaughan Hough
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
via Overheard in New York, Nov 19, 2007
Mother: Look away. He just has a disease.
Teen: What? So chronic masturbation is a disease now?
--42nd St subway
Overheard by: come again?
Headline by: gerard
Runners-Up:
· "Cause Dad Said Its a Cure for Fat Wife Syndrome" - angelica cayne
· "Come Again?" - Mary Beth
· "Ironically, NOT Healed by Laying on Of Hands" - JohnnyB
· "Momma Don't Know Jack." - jason daniel
· "No. I Was Referring To The Pus Pockets On The Head Of His Penis." - Redneck Jedi
· "There's Even a 12 Stroke Program" - Grantakerous
· "We're Tivoing _That_ Telethon!" - Vera Vaughan Hough
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
via Overheard in New York, Nov 19, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
German engineering
"These days many Russian online communities hit by the discussion of these photos. They were published in one popular Russian blog and the guy who published claimed that he has found the unique rare photographs of his grandfather from WW2 when he encountered the Nazi Robots. Of course many didn't believe this and found the same things are in Lucas "Star Wars" movie, but many were fooled and this caused a big buzz, spread across many blogs."
From English Russia
Oil discovery rocks Brazil
RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (AP) -- A huge offshore oil discovery could raise Brazil's petroleum reserves by a whopping 40 percent and boost this country into the ranks of the world's major exporters, officials said.
CNN
CNN
25 Photographs Taken at the Exact Right Time
Timing is everything, particularly in the case of amazing photography. Sometimes that means waiting through a whole sports game and getting lucky to catch just the right shot. Other times than means trudging through nature for weeks to get the perfect environmental photograph. Here are 25 examples of perfectly timed images from around the world and in various genres.
From Sawse - Stir it Up!:
Temple built 4,000 years ago unearthed in Peru
LIMA (Reuters) - A 4,000-year-old temple filled with murals has been unearthed on the northern coast of Peru, making it one of the oldest finds in the Americas, a leading archaeologist said on Saturday.
The temple, inside a larger ruin, includes a staircase that leads up to an altar used for fire worship at a site scientists have called Ventarron, said Peruvian archaeologist Walter Alva, who led the dig.
From Reuters
The temple, inside a larger ruin, includes a staircase that leads up to an altar used for fire worship at a site scientists have called Ventarron, said Peruvian archaeologist Walter Alva, who led the dig.
From Reuters
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Kadykchan. The City of Broken Dreams
"No, this isn’t Chernobyl and there isn’t any dangerous radioactive background or toxic pollution. You can even live in this town… but there is no reason for. This place has become absolutely useless after the collapse of the USSR, like many other Soviet industrial settlements."
From English Russia
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Over There — and Gone Forever
BY any conceivable measure, Frank Buckles has led an extraordinary life. Born on a farm in Missouri in February 1901, he saw his first automobile in his hometown in 1905, and his first airplane at the Illinois State Fair in 1907. At 15 he moved on his own to Oklahoma and went to work in a bank; in the 1940s, he spent more than three years as a Japanese prisoner of war. When he returned to the United States, he married, had a daughter and bought a farm near Charles Town, W. Va., where he lives to this day. He drove a tractor until he was 104.
But even more significant than the remarkable details of Mr. Buckles’s life is what he represents: Of the two million soldiers the United States sent to France in World War I, he is the only one left.
From NY Times
But even more significant than the remarkable details of Mr. Buckles’s life is what he represents: Of the two million soldiers the United States sent to France in World War I, he is the only one left.
From NY Times
Monday, November 12, 2007
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
I love New York
God That Felt Good. I'm Shivering Here
via Overheard in New York, Nov 6, 2007
Conductor over loud speaker: In case you didn't stop to look at what train this is, listen up, because I'm telling you now. This is the C Train. This train will be running express from here to Canal Street. I repeat: This train is running express from here to Canal Street. If you need to get to a local stop in between, you must go to 14th Street and take the C uptown. Uptown trains are stopping at all stations. Next stop: 42nd Street.
Teen girl, as train approaches 42nd: Excuse me, is this train stopping at 23rd Street?
Conductor: You didn't listen to the announcement at all, did you?
Teen girl: No.
Conductor: Then I'm not telling.
--C train, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: i love a tube with tude
via Overheard in New York, Nov 6, 2007
Many-limbed India girl in surgery
Doctors in India operating on a two-year-old child who was born with four arms and four legs say that the surgery is going well.
Lakshmi Tatma is joined at the pelvis to what is, in effect, a headless, undeveloped twin.
A team of surgeons in the southern city of Bangalore is working in shifts to separate Lakshmi's spinal column and kidney from that of her twin.
It is hoped the procedure will allow her to survive beyond adolescence.
The rest of the article here: BBC NEWS
Lakshmi Tatma is joined at the pelvis to what is, in effect, a headless, undeveloped twin.
A team of surgeons in the southern city of Bangalore is working in shifts to separate Lakshmi's spinal column and kidney from that of her twin.
It is hoped the procedure will allow her to survive beyond adolescence.
The rest of the article here: BBC NEWS
Sunday, November 4, 2007
School kid speaks 10 languages
A boy genius of 10 has stunned teachers by learning to speak 10 languages.
Arpan Sharma taught himself French, Spanish, German, Italian, Swahili, Mandarin, Polish, Thai and the difficult Lugandan language of Uganda. He also learned Hindi from his mum and dad.
The gifted primary school pupil from Oldbury, West Mids, studied using CD-roms.
He learned Italian fluently at seven, German at eight, and Spanish when he was nine.
But he admitted: "Learning Swahili was probably one of the biggest challenges I've faced and Mandarin Chinese was hard too."
Deputy Headmaster Richard Lynn, of Blue Coat School, Edgbaston, Birmingham, said: "Arpan is a language genius, a natural when it comes to listening to an exact pronunciation and repeating it perfectly."
Arpan wants to be a surgeon and work in hospitals abroad and speak each country's tongue.
From Mirror.co.uk
Arpan Sharma taught himself French, Spanish, German, Italian, Swahili, Mandarin, Polish, Thai and the difficult Lugandan language of Uganda. He also learned Hindi from his mum and dad.
The gifted primary school pupil from Oldbury, West Mids, studied using CD-roms.
He learned Italian fluently at seven, German at eight, and Spanish when he was nine.
But he admitted: "Learning Swahili was probably one of the biggest challenges I've faced and Mandarin Chinese was hard too."
Deputy Headmaster Richard Lynn, of Blue Coat School, Edgbaston, Birmingham, said: "Arpan is a language genius, a natural when it comes to listening to an exact pronunciation and repeating it perfectly."
Arpan wants to be a surgeon and work in hospitals abroad and speak each country's tongue.
From Mirror.co.uk
Is That Mayonnaise in Your Coffee?
Middle-aged white lady: What are you trying to do? You are so rude! I can't believe you! I am going to get you fired!
Clerk: [Silence.]
Middle-aged white lady, to entire line: Can you believe these people? They are so rude! I can't believe they are trying to short me my coffee! It's unbelievable!
Young black man: Stop being so white.
--Dunkin' Donuts, Atlantic & 4th, Brooklyn
via Overheard in New York, Nov 4, 2007
Clerk: [Silence.]
Middle-aged white lady, to entire line: Can you believe these people? They are so rude! I can't believe they are trying to short me my coffee! It's unbelievable!
Young black man: Stop being so white.
--Dunkin' Donuts, Atlantic & 4th, Brooklyn
via Overheard in New York, Nov 4, 2007
Saturday, November 3, 2007
I should pay more tax, says US billionaire Warren Buffett
This man is my hero.
The United States' second-richest man has delivered a blunt message to the Bush administration: he wants to pay more tax.
Warren Buffett, the famous investor known as the 'Sage of Omaha', has complained that he pays a lower rate of tax than any of his staff - including his receptionist. Mr Buffett, who is worth an estimated $52bn (£25bn), said: 'The taxation system has tilted towards the rich and away from the middle class in the last 10 years. It's dramatic; I don't think it's appreciated and I think it should be addressed.'
From The Guardian
The United States' second-richest man has delivered a blunt message to the Bush administration: he wants to pay more tax.
Warren Buffett, the famous investor known as the 'Sage of Omaha', has complained that he pays a lower rate of tax than any of his staff - including his receptionist. Mr Buffett, who is worth an estimated $52bn (£25bn), said: 'The taxation system has tilted towards the rich and away from the middle class in the last 10 years. It's dramatic; I don't think it's appreciated and I think it should be addressed.'
From The Guardian
Head Like A Hole?
Man With A Nine Inch Knife In His Head, Survives
A NINE-INCH knife juts out of a US soldier’s brain in an X-ray taken after he was stabbed in Iraq.
Sergeant Dan Powers was probing the cause of an explosion when a teenager ran up and plunged the blade into his head.
Sgt Powers, 39, said of the July attack in Baghdad: “I felt a bump but didn’t know I had a knife in my head as the brain has no pain-sensory nerves.”
Sgt Powers, who serves with the 118th Military Police Company, has since made a near-full recovery.
His teenage attacker was arrested."
From thesun.co.uk
A NINE-INCH knife juts out of a US soldier’s brain in an X-ray taken after he was stabbed in Iraq.
Sergeant Dan Powers was probing the cause of an explosion when a teenager ran up and plunged the blade into his head.
Sgt Powers, 39, said of the July attack in Baghdad: “I felt a bump but didn’t know I had a knife in my head as the brain has no pain-sensory nerves.”
Sgt Powers, who serves with the 118th Military Police Company, has since made a near-full recovery.
His teenage attacker was arrested."
From thesun.co.uk
Overheard in NYC
Should I Not Add That It's for My Husband's Infantalism Fetish?
via Overheard in New York, Nov 2, 2007
also:
Every Lifetime Movie, in a Nutshell
via Overheard in New York, Nov 1, 2007
Woman: Oh, I gotta defrost my breast milk!
Lady friend: There's something everyone doesn't want to overhear...
--80th & West End
Overheard by: Nikki... so did not want to overhear that
via Overheard in New York, Nov 2, 2007
also:
Every Lifetime Movie, in a Nutshell
Girl: Get the fuck outta here! I'll fucking kill you!
Guy: So, I was thinking about...
Girl: I just threatened your life and you have nothing to say?!
Guy, shrugging: I love you.
--Park Ave
Overheard by: LiveNY
via Overheard in New York, Nov 1, 2007
IED near freaking miss
Jesus.
The next time you see a member of the armed services, past / present / future, remember to thank them for their service.
The next time you see a member of the armed services, past / present / future, remember to thank them for their service.
Friday, November 2, 2007
Thursday, November 1, 2007
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