Friday, January 30, 2009
Thank god he's keeping track
Conductor: Crime does not pay. I repeat, crime does not pay. There will be no crime on this train. Littering is a crime. Throwing up on the train is a crime. If you feel the need to relieve yourself, there is one place you can throw up on the train...on yourself. Or if you have a girlfriend, you can have her join in on the situation and you can throw up on her. I'm sure that punishment would be far worse. (at the next stop) I'd like to thank the gentleman in the second car. That was the most amazing display of projectile vomit outside the car doors that I have ever seen! A new record!
Via Overheard In New York
Via Overheard In New York
Thursday, January 29, 2009
I'm already buying my ticket
Bodega counter guy, to girl walking up to buy beers: Fuckin shit! Oh, pardon my language miss. Watch your mouth boys, there's a lady!
Girl: Dude, I'm buying two double Pabst and rolling tobacco, say whatever the fuck you want,
Patron in line behind her: This is Brooklyn, ain't no ladies here.
Via Overheard In New York
Girl: Dude, I'm buying two double Pabst and rolling tobacco, say whatever the fuck you want,
Patron in line behind her: This is Brooklyn, ain't no ladies here.
Via Overheard In New York
Suger found in Milky Way, but no nougat
Dec. 9, 2008 -- The search for life beyond Earth doesn't always require rovers on Mars, radio scans of nearby stars or telescopes powerful enough to image Earth-like planets. For some astronomers, learning about whether life exists elsewhere in the universe is a matter of molecules.
Maria Beltran, with the University of Barcelona's Department of Astronomy, and several European colleagues found a fairly simple molecule known as glycolaldehyde, an eight-atomed entity -- two carbon, two oxygen, four hydrogen -- more commonly known as sugar.
Discovery News
Maria Beltran, with the University of Barcelona's Department of Astronomy, and several European colleagues found a fairly simple molecule known as glycolaldehyde, an eight-atomed entity -- two carbon, two oxygen, four hydrogen -- more commonly known as sugar.
Discovery News
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Whoops
Guy: Me and the wife are going out this weekend. You think you could hook me up with...uhh, some happy fun time shit?
Girl: Are you serious? I don't think I have anything you'd like. How do you know what your wife wants?
Guy: What the fuck? She wants weed, end of story!
Girl: Oh, shit! I thought you were talking about sex toys!
Guy: Why the fuck would I ask to borrow someone else's sex toys?
Girl: I...uh...
Guy (smirking): So you have sex toys, huh? What kind?
Girl: Shut up!
Centennial, Colorado
Via Overheard In The Office
Girl: Are you serious? I don't think I have anything you'd like. How do you know what your wife wants?
Guy: What the fuck? She wants weed, end of story!
Girl: Oh, shit! I thought you were talking about sex toys!
Guy: Why the fuck would I ask to borrow someone else's sex toys?
Girl: I...uh...
Guy (smirking): So you have sex toys, huh? What kind?
Girl: Shut up!
Centennial, Colorado
Via Overheard In The Office
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Michigan Ave, 1962
Chicago, Illinois, circa 1962. At 10:27 a.m. Looking north along Michigan Avenue at Adams Street, with the Chicago Art Institute on the right
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
Just another service they provide
Bum doing the robot: Zzzzzzz robot, zzzzzzz whirrr whirr, doing the robot.
Cop passing by, over car loudspeaker: That is the worst robot I've ever seen.
(crowd cheers)
via Overheard In New York
Cop passing by, over car loudspeaker: That is the worst robot I've ever seen.
(crowd cheers)
via Overheard In New York
Thursday, January 8, 2009
An assortment
Conductor over PA: Some asshole saw fit to leave a package behind on the train, so now we're waiting for the train police. God knows how long that's going to take.
--4 Train
Loud hobo addressing crowded f train: I am unemployed. I am not begging. This is an uptown-bound f train. If you see a suspicious package...give it to me.
--F Train
Rasta guy to whole car: Attention passengers! (does perfect imitation of opening subway door tones) Please keep your belongings in sight at all times. If you see a suspicious package on the platform or train, tell a police officer, or an MTA employee, or me---it could be a big bag of money, or a bag of medicinal weed. Not the haze, the spliff.
--4 Train
Hobo (after imitating the sound of the subway doors closing): This is a Bronx-bound 4 train...the next stop will be 14th Street Union Square. If you see a suspicious package, don't keep it to yourself. Tell a police officer or MTA employee or me, cause it could be a bag of money or some weed! (approaching a white girl) Hey, pretty girl! You ever tried the flavor black? Cause once you go black you don't go back. Oh man, she's fine! She's fine too! I must be a lesbian because I like all girls!
--4 Train
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, if you see or think you're seeing a suspicious package, don't be scared! Say something! The next stop on this train will be 125th Street, home of the famous Apollo Theater and Street Fault, now with white kids from the Old Navy commercial walking all over the place.
--A Train
via Overheard In New York
--4 Train
Loud hobo addressing crowded f train: I am unemployed. I am not begging. This is an uptown-bound f train. If you see a suspicious package...give it to me.
--F Train
Rasta guy to whole car: Attention passengers! (does perfect imitation of opening subway door tones) Please keep your belongings in sight at all times. If you see a suspicious package on the platform or train, tell a police officer, or an MTA employee, or me---it could be a big bag of money, or a bag of medicinal weed. Not the haze, the spliff.
--4 Train
Hobo (after imitating the sound of the subway doors closing): This is a Bronx-bound 4 train...the next stop will be 14th Street Union Square. If you see a suspicious package, don't keep it to yourself. Tell a police officer or MTA employee or me, cause it could be a bag of money or some weed! (approaching a white girl) Hey, pretty girl! You ever tried the flavor black? Cause once you go black you don't go back. Oh man, she's fine! She's fine too! I must be a lesbian because I like all girls!
--4 Train
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, if you see or think you're seeing a suspicious package, don't be scared! Say something! The next stop on this train will be 125th Street, home of the famous Apollo Theater and Street Fault, now with white kids from the Old Navy commercial walking all over the place.
--A Train
via Overheard In New York
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
MTA: Builder of Hopes, Destroyer of Dreams...
Conductor: Hello, and welcome to the Hogwarts Express. This is platform 9 3/4, and we will be leaving shortly for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Preteen holding Harry Potter book, to suit holding Harry Potter book: Oh my god! I knew they would come for me!
Suit holding Harry Potter book, to himself: I did too.
via Overheard In New York
Preteen holding Harry Potter book, to suit holding Harry Potter book: Oh my god! I knew they would come for me!
Suit holding Harry Potter book, to himself: I did too.
via Overheard In New York
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Unlikely friends
"They harbor no fears, no secrets, no prejudices. Just two living creatures who somehow managed to look past their immense differences."
God, I wish
Customer (on speaker): But it's too expensive, it isn't fair! I can't afford it. Can't I just pay you half?
Insurance rep: No, the premium for your vehicle is $435.60. You have to pay the full amount.
Customer: Can you find a way so I can just pay $200? That's all I can afford!
Insurance rep: No. You can't just pay any amount you want. You need to pay what you owe.
(this goes on for 10 minutes)
Insurance rep: Well, fine, if you can't afford to pay the insurance for your car maybe you should sell it and take the damn bus.
Customer: What? What did you just say to me?
Insurance rep: I'll transfer you to my manager.
via Overheard In The Office
Insurance rep: No, the premium for your vehicle is $435.60. You have to pay the full amount.
Customer: Can you find a way so I can just pay $200? That's all I can afford!
Insurance rep: No. You can't just pay any amount you want. You need to pay what you owe.
(this goes on for 10 minutes)
Insurance rep: Well, fine, if you can't afford to pay the insurance for your car maybe you should sell it and take the damn bus.
Customer: What? What did you just say to me?
Insurance rep: I'll transfer you to my manager.
via Overheard In The Office
Monday, January 5, 2009
What happens in Vegas, etc.
Drunk on phone: Hello, is this Frogs?
Intern: No, this is not a bar, it is a place of business.
Drunk on phone: Look...is my honey Lois there?
Intern: No, please don't call anymore. (hangs up)
(phone rings again)
Drunk on the phone: Look...I'm looking for my honey Lois. Is she there?
Intern: No, this is a place of business. Please stop calling.
(hangs up phone, then it rings again)
Drunk on the phone: Have you seen my honey, Lois?
Supervisor: Yeah, I've seen her. She's sitting here at the bar and she's making out with a bunch of guys.
Drunk on the phone: Bitch! Tell her I'm going to kill her.
Supervisor: I would love to, but I think she's having sex right now on the bar. I'll wait until she's done.
Drunk on the phone: I can't believe she is doing this to me. (starts to cry and hangs up phone)
Supervisor to intern: Every once in a while you gotta have a little fun.
Las Vegas, Nevada
via Overheard In The Office
Intern: No, this is not a bar, it is a place of business.
Drunk on phone: Look...is my honey Lois there?
Intern: No, please don't call anymore. (hangs up)
(phone rings again)
Drunk on the phone: Look...I'm looking for my honey Lois. Is she there?
Intern: No, this is a place of business. Please stop calling.
(hangs up phone, then it rings again)
Drunk on the phone: Have you seen my honey, Lois?
Supervisor: Yeah, I've seen her. She's sitting here at the bar and she's making out with a bunch of guys.
Drunk on the phone: Bitch! Tell her I'm going to kill her.
Supervisor: I would love to, but I think she's having sex right now on the bar. I'll wait until she's done.
Drunk on the phone: I can't believe she is doing this to me. (starts to cry and hangs up phone)
Supervisor to intern: Every once in a while you gotta have a little fun.
Las Vegas, Nevada
via Overheard In The Office
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Who wrote The Treasure of the Sierra Madre?
Strangely, no one knows. The novel is credited to B. Traven, but exactly who that is has been a matter of speculation for more than 80 years.
Most of Traven's output was published between 1926 and 1939, composed in German sprinkled with Americanisms and frequently concerning leftist politics and Mexican history.
The writer himself never came forward, and he left only intriguing clues to his identity: In the 1920s apparently he was associated with Munich anarchist Erich Mühsam, and later a Mexican journalist discovered a bank account in Traven's name in Acapulco. When John Huston filmed The Treasure of the Sierra Madre in 1947, a man claiming to be Traven's agent visited the set and appeared to take an unusual interest in the proceedings, but he disappeared afterward.
Apparently that's how he wanted it: It now appears that the writer took on at least four distinct identities during his lifetime. One of these men wrote, "I shall always and at all times prefer to be pissed on by dogs than reveal who I am."
via Futility Closet
Most of Traven's output was published between 1926 and 1939, composed in German sprinkled with Americanisms and frequently concerning leftist politics and Mexican history.
The writer himself never came forward, and he left only intriguing clues to his identity: In the 1920s apparently he was associated with Munich anarchist Erich Mühsam, and later a Mexican journalist discovered a bank account in Traven's name in Acapulco. When John Huston filmed The Treasure of the Sierra Madre in 1947, a man claiming to be Traven's agent visited the set and appeared to take an unusual interest in the proceedings, but he disappeared afterward.
Apparently that's how he wanted it: It now appears that the writer took on at least four distinct identities during his lifetime. One of these men wrote, "I shall always and at all times prefer to be pissed on by dogs than reveal who I am."
via Futility Closet
Saturday, January 3, 2009
who's a jackass then?
In 1750, Jacques Ferron was caught having sex with an ass and sentenced to death.
To add insult to injury, the ass had a character witness:
From Edward Payson Evans, The Criminal Prosecution and Capital Punishment of Animals, 1906.
Via Futility Closet
To add insult to injury, the ass had a character witness:
The prior to the convent … and the principal inhabitants of the commune of Vanvres signed a certificate stating that they had known the said she-ass for four years, and that she had always shown herself to be virtuous and well-behaved both at home and abroad and had never given occasion of scandal to any one, and that therefore 'they were willing to bear witness that she is in word and deed and in all her habits of life a most honest creature.'The ass was acquitted, and Ferron hanged.
From Edward Payson Evans, The Criminal Prosecution and Capital Punishment of Animals, 1906.
Via Futility Closet
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